I love twitter. Not so much because I love tweeting, although I do like to. It’s super simple, it gives you direct access to celebrities (Aziz Ansari has tweeted me, as well as Jean Grae…twice) & I feel like a specific set of friends of mine tweet & it gives me better access to them almost. I even know that I’ve developed closer relationships with people on twitter. Weird, but true.
Anyways, I was telling someone of an epic drunk tweeting spree that I went on at JFK. I always show up at the airport SUPER early & the Jetblue terminal for JFK is so nice. I went to the fancy french eatery La Vie and while waiting for my fancy french fish & chips (a delicacy there, I’ve been told) I decided, what the hell, I’ll have a drink. The night before I had a single beer with my roommate & found myself REALLY drunk, so I figured I should build up my tolerance since I was going to Chicago the next day to see my best friend & soulmate Nicole. I think I was encouraged to tweet all this because around this time comedian Louis CK went on a hilarious drunk rant on twitter about how Sarah Palin is a cunt while he was drunk on a plane.
Also to preface this, CNN was on the tv above the bar and there was a story about all the Christian churches that protested the mosque being built near ground zero.
So here begins the 2010 drunk tweets of 9/9…never forget.
2:53 PM Getting drunk at JFK. Was so excited I barely slept last night. So its time for nightcaps….at 3pm
3:00 PM 2 sips of this grand marnier cocktail. Way tipsy. So Asian. I wish I could luve up to @louisck drunk tweets
3:09 PM Homie keeps bringing waters w each drank. Like I got 2 waters I. Front of me. Implying something g??? RACIAT!!!
[At this point 2 annoying white women sit next to me. They missed their flight.]
3:14 PM White girls? Amiright?? #dapstomyself
3:22 PM Oh so these honkettes are offered wine when they sit. But I should get a bloody Mary or shit if whiskey? Whatchutryina say???
3:30 PM Why can’t chritians do go with their poere like make businesses like chikfila and publix?? Instaed if hating on mosques??
3:37 PM “if I buy a drink can you put it in a Togo cup so can bring it on the plane?” “no. One of the other bars might.”
3:47 PM Wishi brought a water bottle to snark this white russian on the plane. #gogreen
3:47 PM Say la vie
3:48 PM la vie
3:49 PM Barely made my flight! #worthit #lookatmyturntables @DJ_Anak_Anal
3:50 PM At least I made my flight! Suckit hinkekettes!! This flight is lucky I’m nit at an emergency exit. #WILDCARD
3:53 PM This white Russian was $14?”?!?? It doesn’t even have champagne init!!!
6:43 PM In Chicago. Still a lil drunk. *bows*